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Han

by Carry Hatchet

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1.
ive worked so hard for what? for what, i cant recall you got here just in time to see a grown man fall now gather up your lovers your family and your friends be sure the kids are watching so they dont end up like him please hang me in the courtyard then bury me with shame and kill all my descendants destroy the family name now gather in the graveyard but theres no grave to see let that be a reminder to not end up like me
2.
Heloise 02:42
i ask 'are you leaving?' she's all packed up / got her bags by the door the only thing left is the dust on the floor she asks me to join her its one of those moments that i'll soon regret but i havent forgotten her or forgiven her yet i drive her to the station the train pulls up at 8:34 but theres only one of us climbing aboard she waves at the window saying goodbye is already tough i smile back up to her and hope thats enough head out to the mountains i wont let myself rest until i hit the top im so out of shape but i wont ever stop i still see her waving to me ive got no fucking clue what im gonna do now forgot when you hit the top / you can only go down
3.
Bridget 02:12
cant close your eyes you stay up half the night but youre not feeling tired shes almost by your side she never makes her way to you in the moonlight / in the moonlight she only does what lovers do in the daytime / in the daytime open your eyes and see what the morning brings you may not sleep again but you wouldnt change a thing
4.
Coppelia 03:10
she takes in the four blank walls of her broken apartment the paint is old and the ceiling's tired she gets up from the bed and makes her way to the bathroom its down the hall and to the right she gets back into bed cause thats where shes been living she dreams all day lying on her side and the bed is her desk and her dining table she eats alone there every night and dont try to fix her she said 'you couldnt even fix me if you tried' so i'll just listen and try to be there all the time the heat breaks down / new york in the winter she bundles up but it feels like snow and the jobs wont come / her resume is fading her once-perfect looks are the first to go
5.
Kasey 01:56
cross the yard and head up to the roof take the bottle out / its ninety-nine proof you dont know what that means but it makes you feel seen kasey pulls up and offers you a ride dont wanna lead her on / still, you get inside she says "we're going real far and im not talking bout the car" she took your innocence / its not coming back and even if it could, you wouldnt want it back but now you dont know what to say she drops you off and drives away you both forgot that you were just kids it broke everything because of course it did you graduate on time she doesnt even say goodbye
6.
Sam 02:50
im tired of wasting the minutes away theres no more playing around i come up with something new every day but theres nothing new that ive found this cant be it / this pile of shit its taken up most of my room i dont have the guts to throw anything out i wont have a place to live soon i wrote the book on writing the book of what not to do with your time the critics all called me 'the voice of the future' and it took home the pulitzer prize if only they knew i made everything up theyd probably take the prize back so i'll keep living this lie that i built to keep the dogs off of my track ive got a few years in the past ive got a few years left to go they say time moves faster as you grow up but the everyday living is slow i have no idea where i'll settle down next probably somewhere on the coast i only half care about what lies ahead i guess thats what scares me the most
7.
Han 02:35
turn out the light i cant stay awake i feel my body wracked with doubt my world is turning inside out oh, ive felt this way before when i was young and dumb and poor and life was only open doors is this all the future has in store? i pay the rent my credit score is safe i keep the heat turned on my internet connection's strong ive got access to everything but i still dont feel a thing its getting harder to ignore is this all the future has in store? grab a pen write down whatever comes to mind and now try to make it rhyme its all ive got to pass the time if one day the well runs dry im pretty sure i'd rather die dust to dust and nothing more is this all the future has in store?
8.
Hope 02:08
none. just notes from a seagull dulcimer.
9.
Dana 01:48
she keeps staring you down youve gotta get up the nerve somehow you put your head down to the floor youre down the hall and out the door scared to fail / too scared to try so you just let her pass you by it feels like death youre well aware you dont have much time left you stop and ask her what she thinks about john lennon and other things shes got 'revolver' at her place she only lives four blocks away she gives you her lips youve never had an education quite like this on and on the lessons go before long you start to know why the oceans never sleep the answers really not that deep
10.
Andrew 02:32
andrew joined the race no, of course he didnt place no, of course he didnt try he never saw the finish line instead he took a rest took the tape right off his chest but somehow the clothing chafed and andrew bled out anyway andrew drives to work spills some coffee on his shirt he shows up twelve minute late he always makes his colleagues wait when they ask him what he does he says 'a job he doesnt love' they proceed to laugh a lot they think he's joking but he's not andrew falls apart it feels like shit inside his heart he questions if he's still alive he gets in bed at half past five but he dreams of a better life the house, the dog, the kids, the wife the alarm clock starts to beep as he fights to stay asleep
11.
Virginia 02:31
virginia runs like hell i was in the stands the day you fell you stayed down on the floor you'd never met the ground before its becoming clear your fall cant be undone you hate your life but just because youre young someday soon, youll learn its not that bad youll pray to god for the falls that you once had virginia hits the gym you swear you wont fall down again every morning, you go to train the next month, you fall and lose the game
12.
Oscar 02:27
im trying hard but i always lose i want to live in someone else's shoes i think about it every day or two i know its not a healthy thing to do i raised the bar too high and now its floating out of reach and out of sight im not sure where i'll go but im heading to that place where no one knows i think i should see a therapist for many years ive been saying this picture a world where i dont exist too many thoughts of an open wrist i raised the bar too high and now its floating out of reach and out of sight im not sure where i'll go cause im heading to that place where no one knows
13.
Brooke 02:00
keep your eyes upon the road its hard to make the drive alone i'll leave the light burning through the night to guide you on your way back home it wont be home for long another week and then its gone walk through the door we'll all sleep on the floor we're getting good at moving on one last walk around the place take in every single space let out a breath until theres nothing left this moment cannot be erased
14.
Abelard 00:43
apparently, this journey has come to an end. i stopped counting down the days. but now its over. its not the greatest thing ive ever done. or maybe it was. as usual, i enjoyed the sense of work. of having worked. other fears would soon return.

about

All songs written and performed by Christopher Larkin
© Lazy Tongue Productions (BMI)

Mixing & Mastering by Ariel Loh

Violins on 'Han' by Paul Jacob Cartwright
Cello on 'Virginia' by Ro Rowan

Cover Design by Annah Feinberg

Recorded from August 2020 - May 2021 in Los Angeles, CA

credits

released October 10, 2023

Inspired by Michelle Zauner of the band Japanese Breakfast. She challenged herself to write and record a song every day for the month of June, which she then released in an aptly-named album entitled 'June.'

Following in her footsteps, Christopher wrote and recorded a song every day for the months of August 2020 & March 2021, as well as the first week of May 2021. Out of 69 tracks, 14 were selected to create the album 'Han.'

This process offered a glimpse of hope in an otherwise hopeless situation. It forced the writer to both remember and forget at the same time, as only the best art-making can.

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Carry Hatchet Los Angeles, California

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© Rachel Torreno

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